Wednesday, 11 November 2015

ON GROUP ECONOMICS- BUYING BLACK IN THE NATURAL HAIR COMMUNITY






These recent years have seen the emergence of more Black natural hair products than at any other time in the modern age.

This development owes itself to the fact that the natural hair movement is a revolution that has come into its own. Numerous social media platforms such as Facebook have pages and groups.

I subscribe to many of them and have my own celebrating the beauty of Natural black hair. https://www.facebook.com/AfrodisiaNaturalHairIsFabulous  Blogs, vlogs, websites, even Twitter and Instagram are buzzing with the all things natural hair. The red carpet is not to be outdone; in these glamorous circles the likes of Viola Davis, Teyonnah Paris, Solange Knowles and Janelle Monae have helped keep the buzz on Black Natural hair alive. Here in South Africa, the songstress Lira is well known for her amazing talent as much as for the trade mark short cropped Afro that she has made trendy.

Magazines and books are being written specifically on the science of Black natural hair and the care thereof. It is a matter of pride that these are channels made by Black people themselves, a people who are taking  pride in reclaiming their kinks, going natural or- better put- returning natural for it is where it all began. The Black-owned toy industries are also trying to catch on and are starting to make Black dolls that look like us curly, coily hair and all. We can testify to the fact that many of us grew up in a time when the only dolls you could find had White features, and long bone-straight hair. If you were lucky enough to come across a Black doll, it would most certainly have long flowing hair.

A lot of us who have recently embraced natural hair are still in the learning stages of maintaining it. Words such as the “Big Chop”, “Transitioning” all reveal certain recentness to it.  Natural Black hair is still a "new" discovery for us collectively as a people, from Perms to relaxers, to 100% human Indian/Brazilian (insert more) hair attachments, our real natural hair had not really been uncovered or seen as the ideal style of choice. I always say this that wearing natural hair is not just a trend; it’s a people discovering the beauty in their own aesthetics, Without going too  political on why natural hair is still a new phenomenon to the Black majority( It is still a political issue). Let us talk "BUYING Black"

www.mambokadzi.com
At no other time in history is there a need for us to engage in effective GROUP ECONOMICS by collectively ploughing our money into Black-owned natural hair care businesses. There is need to develop a culture of buying Black as this is a sure way of empowering ourselves. Many small Black-owned hair care businesses struggle to stay afloat since they are also competing with long established hair care giants like Soft Sheen Carson, popularly known by the Dark & Lovely brand.


The Natural hair movement got everyone and their mama jumping into natural hair care business! More and more non -Black-owned companies are taking advantage of the emerging demographics and are branching out into natural hair care, as they experience a drop in relaxer sales. After all, it makes sense to seize the opportunity and reap profits? Unfortunately when these  “I've been around for so long companies” cut out their chunk and become part of this rapidly growing industry the emerging small scale, Black hair companies will struggle to stay afloat. If we do not support them enough they will go out of business.

The NON Black-owned companies are not always easy to spot as they have mastered the art of “deception” in naming their products with ironic title brands like African Pride(Revlon), Dark and lovely,  Africa's Best ,  As I am, Black Like Me and many more  which have those ambiguous names that play at Black consciousness and that's exactly their intention to make Black folks associate their products with themselves, and so without much thought to it we just whip out a product from shelves straight to the purchase point. By naming that product Dark and Lovely, they knew that we would identify with it without questioning. For me, it was a major revelation that NONE of these products that cater for us, aptly named for us are made by us. These companies have the financial muscle to dominate once again a movement that is uniquely ours. Unless we have the conscious mind-set of “buying Black” natural hair care money may never have the chance to circulate in our people, buying Black means the money is actually ploughed back into our communities.

The Jewish community has remained major economic players in the world because of these basic principles they have mastered the art of  "Keep it in the family". I work for a Jewish-owned Corporate Gifting Company, and I have observed how wealth is exchanged multiple times within the community before it is injected elsewhere. They have a strict adherence to an unwritten buy Jewish policy. The Jewish company is always the preferred supplier often times even if it means paying extra for that product as compared to buying it elsewhere, and we all wonder why their wealth is intergenerational.

This keeping it in the family culture is not unique to Jewish people. The Indian community has also exhibited a remarkable sense of selective consumerism. They have their own stores, their own shopping malls, their own restaurants and, yes, their own hair products. While Black people will eagerly spend their disposable income elsewhere, for the Asian it has to circulate a number of times in their communities.  According to the University of Georgia's Selig Centre for Economic Growth, the dollar “circulates zero to one time within the black community, compared to the more than six times in the Latino community, nine times in the Asian community and unlimited amount of times within the white community”. This pattern repeats itself on the African continent, especially in the multi-racial societies of southern Africa, where, decades after decolonisation, income disparities still favour on-Black groups.

In terms of wealth distribution the Black race will continue to tail behind until we make conscious initiatives of supporting our own businesses. We cannot be the highest consumers of everything non-Black and expect to see improvement in our wealth distribution. That Indian woman will buy henna from the Indian market regardless of the fact that the same henna maybe be found just on her doorstep. Let us cultivate the same mentality. Yes, I know many times people do not have a wide choice and we go for the next available thing, but, in the hair and beauty industry, we cannot make those excuses any more because there are now so many small businesses that offer a great deal. Time to steer away from those established houses and look after our own babies, a company like VAULT COSMETICS comes to mind, competing with giants like Revlon. It is Black-owned and needs us. The more these companies are empowered the more our communities benefit from it.


www.natmoisture.co.za

Instead of pulling out the first shampoo that takes your fancy how about doing a background check on who owns it? By purchasing a Black-owned hair product off the shelves you are helping to ensure that the company stays alive, which translates to economic advantage for our people. The natural hair care business can only grow if major consumers of their products patronise their businesses before they think China or France.

Like I said, it is not always practical to buy Black-owned products, especially given that most of these small businesses do not have products retailing in major stores. But, that is not an excuse as we now have on-line trading outlets we can purchase their products from. A lot of these hair products from small Black-owned companies are better by far than those made by the industry heavyweights.

Moreover, these big companies don’t know the story of our hair the way we do. To many of us it is more than just hair. It is about a people discovering themselves, it is a sisterhood and it is money in our pockets. Our own hair products are made by people with sheer love for what they do. It is more than about money in the bank for them. It is about taking pride in our aesthetics and catering to them. The natural hair industry is yet to grow with more and more people becoming natural. Every big, chop every transition is placing a demand for products.
Should that demand go the way of other demands from years bygone, putting money in other communities’ pockets?
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My next blog article will give a detailed list of Local Black owned Natural hair product lines.






Friday, 21 August 2015

My Journey of the Kinks....and still going.



When I did the Big Chop I had no idea that there was in-fact a Global Natural Hair Movement until a year later when I stumbled across something related on the Internet and for a full year I did not serve my hair right.

The day I went to the Salon to chop off my hair will always be etched in my memory as that day the  barber earnestly begged me not to cut off my hair. He asked if my hubby had agreed with this...HUH? and I replied "Thankfully I am single so chop off will you" ? (and even If I was married my mind was made up and no one was going to convince me otherwise)..The barber hesitated and he went as far as offering to  relax my hair on credit if I didn't have money to pay  for a relaxer. The assumption was always and still is that people only chop off relaxed hair when they are too broke to pay for a relaxer. 

I was obviously touched by his kindness, here I was a total stranger being offered a "free" hair processing but what he didn't get was that this was not what I wanted to do with my hair. To me the big chop symbolised the beginning of a new era in my life. I have gone back and forth from relaxed to natural countless times but at that time I knew  deep inside me that never again would my hair be chemically straightened and that my decision to keep my tresses natural was permanent.

Prior to going to the barber I had relaxed my hair with Dr Miracles relaxer kit and it looked straight and silky and no matter the nice compliments I got I wasn't sold on my own hair. This was because this sleek, silky hair came at a painful price. For as long as I can remember I always had sores and wounds after a relaxer which took time to heal. No matter how mild a relaxer was my scalp got burnt! I have tried the  Dark and Lovely children's relaxer kit and it also burnt my scalp, but it was supposed to be for kids SENSITIVE scalps! I asked myself  over and over if it was really worth it, was my hair meant to be fried? The way God's nature designed my hair was it meant to be manipulated chemically, so you can imagine the sense of pride I had when I discovered there was a movement dedicated to natural hair of a people who are embracing their kinks. 

I wasn't looking for anything hair related when I came across this page https://www.facebook.com/NapturalRootsMagazine?fref=nf on my news feed and that wast it!

I in-boxed the page administrator LeAnne Dolce based in Atlanta, for tips on natural hair care, she was very helpful and to this day she remains my true inspiration, she told me words I will cherish. The pictures on the page and the page title itself gave me a good feeling, to realise that I really wasn't alone and that there was nothing strange about natural hair, though uncommon. All I saw on that page were pictures of people with breathtaking hair all natural, the versatility of our hair just blew me away. LeAnne gave me pointers on which websites to look at she was not particularly in the actual hair care but hers was a lifestyle magazine celebrating black natural hair.

So I began a journey that was to be the most exciting, fulfilling and rewarding, a journey of loving, and taking care of my kinks. I also made a decision not to install weaves in my hair because that was not the aesthetic I was trying to achieve. My journey was not at all romantic because I met a lot of challenges trying to get my hair care regimen right. The saddest part was that most people around me did not approve. It began the day I came from the barber with an almost bald head everyone in the house I lived didn't hide their disapproval. They said Natural hair made me look poor, some said I  looked village(country) as if there is anything wrong with looking country. Yes unfortunately that is what our own hair is associated with,(undesirability) but gladly more and more people are changing this mindset.

The most painful for me was an incident that happened here in Johannesburg at the church I was attending at that time. Here I was with wet locks on my hair(achieved by rubbing a towel on damp hair) at a church event. I thought I looked glamorous and was serving all kinds of gorgeous with my kinks until the pastor passed by me and pulled  my hair angrily. He was horrified that I would come to church  looking "like that".  I couldn't understand what was wrong with my hair because it was not, but the struggle of hating our own features is real with many people, and that struggle is transferred to a people's religion.


He gave me a real stern lecture and these were his words "so you have decided to walk around like a mad woman"? He asked me If I was working because to him only broke or mad people would have my kind of hairstyle, so he assumed I had lost my job. In most African Pentecostal churches locks are associated with the demonic or destitution. Today I will challenge anyone who thinks like that with two questions: How is something that grows out of my scalp demonic? So these so called demons wait until someone's hair is locked up before they can occupy?
This perspective is sad, pathetic and downright ignorant, but it has a lot to do with the mental conditioning about our features that black  people have been subjected to for generations.

Fast forward to today I am still enjoying my kinks and I now know a whole lot that qualifies me to be  a guru in this area and I am still learning. I have influenced some people to embrace their kinks and I get satisfaction with that. I did not go natural I returned natural because that it where it all began.

November 2012


Tuesday, 11 August 2015

FOR BLACK WOMEN- TIME TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

The popular sayings go like this “black men are useless” or  “ Black men are not real men” things like they use women, get them pregnant and run away from responsibility. It's a popular notion in the black community that a relationship with a black man is pre-set to fail. Women often bemoan and sight that black men cannot be faithful.

This scenario is solidified by those men you hear saying things such as "it is a man’s right" and sighting it as the works of nature to have as many women they can get and that they really can’t resist those “natural inclinations” we've all heard those ignorant utterances. This view is not only dangerous to live by but it is highly erroneous. Practices such as polygamy were practised in most cultures because the social system at that time required it to be so only for functionality and not a way for promiscuity as often interpreted. The socio-economic obligations for families today are different and there is no good reason for this practice to be maintained any more BUT THIS IS NOT MY ISSUE IN THIS ARTICLE.

 My topic is on black women and their collaborations in disastrous relationship outcomes and their participation in the perpetuation of black men negative stereotypes. We need a reality check! There is need evaluate ourselves and see right across the mirror on how we are actually contributing to the mess that is our current social system. We have to stop the business of shifting blame onto the men for our wrong decisions.  Often women are expects at diverting the blame to others especially to the man who has turned out to be a jerk "he used me","he is such a loser for dumping me", "men are evil and heartless" and perhaps the most outstanding of all their crimes is that of the disappearing act when they get the woman "knocked up".

We often hear of how heartless black men are how they lie, cheat, use us and cannot face responsibility. Black women complain about having given their all, financially, materially and spiritually to these men only to be reciprocated with abuse and un-appreciativeness.

My question is when will we start taking responsibility on our part for having low expectations in our lives? Refusing to acknowledge our direct participation in how lowly we are treated borders on narcissism, for the narcissist is never wrong and anyone who comes up to call out wrong behaviour is often seen as attacking and that is the case, one needs only to look to social media to note this. Let us think about this do we rather go on setting ourselves up for failure or be willing to change the outcomes thus taking control of our lives, which means no man can actually hurt us unless we allow them to. 

How do we expect an elevated status when we are aiming low? How do we expect to be treated in a non demeaning way when in the first place most of us are found guilty of associating with low lives. The first step in the right direction is acknowledging the failures on our part.

As a child I grew up hearing on how bad men are. We were raised to see men as a species with inherently evil traits that were created only for the sole purposes of mistreating women. With that background women are conditioned to expect very little in relationships, it’s unfortunate that these views are passed on from women who themselves made wrong decisions, and simply hand over these views to the next generations often without being honest about how they themselves may have contributed to the bad circumstances. 

Given all the analysis’ on men you would expect women to be a little more guarding of ourselves. If men in general are so  heartless clearly we should have learnt, but almost no gathering of women will be dismissed before the subject of men and their bad agendas  is mentioned. I am not letting men who treat women badly off the hook, neither am I suggesting that they go blame free. I am simply saying we are doing it wrong from the start and expect right to come out of it.

 Who is to blame when a woman attaches herself to a married man who later turns to be un-supportive when babies are made in the faulty union? I am calling out the woman who goes eyes wide open for a man with four children, by different women and no form of responsibility he takes for them. Why does a woman like that raise out the red card and cry foul when she finds herself being another deserted baby mama. We need to address the issue of why women go after broken men, before we can lash out at broken men.

I remember taking up with my sister  on how for the second time around in a row I was treated badly by a man. I was obviously devastated and so her response was shocking and unwelcome.when asked why it has happened again and told me straight up that I was playing with fire.  Here I was expecting her to join my pity party, feel sorry for me and soothe me and remind me of how nasty men are, all the while not taking one shred of responsibility of the situations and possibly to repeat it again.

 Thankfully I am the kind of person who believes that the truth may hurt but the truth will help. I reflected on my choices and decisions and realised that it is entirely my fault if I associate myself with a man who has no ounce of self respect for himself. It is ones own undoing when they accommodate a man who has no standards and nothing to offer. I've since learnt that I should never complain about a man who doesn't appreciate my being and my talents if I choose someone I have no common ground with in the first place. For as long as women go after things that have no value in considering relationships then they will never be a point of exhale.

Ever heard of the famous" all men are dogs!" This statement is thrown everywhere and is the ultimate truth for many women, on TV, in buses, at work seems men being equated to dogs is acceptable. I disagree strongly with that statement, unless you've met all men and dated all men you cannot lump up a whole species' because of a few rotten ones that you have encountered. I reiterate that we cannot say all black men are bad when we have lowered our standards by being accomplices to our self downfall.

There is no grander delusion than that of throwing yourself into the lions' den hoping for a "Daniel effect". A woman who dates a thug and expects to be treated like a queen, has titanic delusions of royalty that they are not.

We need to deal with the prevailing fractured mindset that any man is a man. We cannot define a man simply  from a biological perspective that if he dangles some inches in his pants he is a man. There is more to being a man than his anatomy, a man should be measured from a stand point of his values, expectations, lifestyle and influences for him to be called a real man. A man raised in a broken family often struggles to be what a man should be. There are always indicators, his family background almost gives him entirely out, his relationship with females around him tells story, his general attitude also spells out who he is. 

Black women are guilty of not doing their due diligence, going blindly into relationships that have no substance, with men of questionable characters, only to turn around and say there are no good men, meanwhile they are good men out there, men of integrity who are sidelined easily because these men do not help them in participating in their shortcomings. These men expect higher standards from them. The other  problem is that most women are raised with such low expectations in life concerning relationships and any man who expects high standards is discarded and labelled all sorts, in most cases are said to have lost touch with reality.

If we are honest with ourselves we should be able to look back and say "I messed up, and that relationship was never supposed to happen", before we can hate and slander the man for not living up to what we thought. How do we expect a 100% commitment from a men who has zero commitment towards his own life.

The mantra is "there are no good men left", but how does one expect to go to bed and lie with Dracula and expect to wake up next to an angel, faulty people don't change drastically and if they do it is not our duty to place ourselves in the firing line trying to change them you might get burnt! The biggest fault is not even the faulty man, the error is in the woman who has not enough self worth and love for herself who goes after such questionable characters.

The plain truth, hard to accept is: The problem is not that there are no good men left the problem is most of us are looking for love, affection and devotion in the wrong places, without considering the impact of breeding children from relationships that lack the solid basis needed to maintain a successful relationship. The even bigger problem is from the fact that most of us are not raised to want better.

There are many good black men out there but they are often sidelined because women are focusing on things that don't matter, things of little to no value. Often when looking at potential relationships some women have the “what can I get out of it mentality?” and this is strictly in terms of material gain even at the cost of their entire well being all the while ignoring the red flags. This kind of thinking steers the ship in the wrong direction. It doesn't help looking at a man's wallet instead of his mental and social being, I am not saying successful relationships are only with broke man, but rather its about taking into consideration the things that count first.

You will never get a deep experience from a shallow underlying basis. The biggest bad influence is media, it is  the agent used to keep a people from expecting higher. The media throws negative images that become normalised in our everyday life, in the end wrong becomes the right. A woman with 6 kids 6 baby daddies is praised for being able to hold it down and taking care of her kids alone without the loser baby daddies, but that is the whole crisis trying to treat symptoms instead of the root cause,which is the woman who has no problem sinking so low popping kids with different men and yet expect to live a sane life. It doesn't work like that.

I saw a post the other day of a woman who was spewing bitterness at the fact that after having used up all her savings and college tuition to pay for her boyfriend's medical bills after he had been shot 7 times, he cheated, got her friend pregnant and left her.

Many comments on that post made by women  sympathised with her, on how ruthless and an un-grateful bastard he is for doing that to her after all she had sacrificed for him.

I say how foolish can one be? How do you expect heroism for the stupidity of using up all your tuition to pay for a reckless man's medical expenses, which brings to light another issue, desperation. Many woman are needy and desperate for love to the point of downright stupid. A man shot seven times in the neighbourhood is a man that  no woman who respects herself should be with in the first place. That is something very disturbing that women can lower themselves by having relationships with men that spell out disaster in bold. If you are going to be someone's "ride or die" make sure that man is worthy.

 The fact that a woman can fail to distinguish a man who is worthy from one who is not says a lot about herself more than the man. It indicates a major problem, that of a low self esteem and a poor sense of self. While she was occupied on holding it down for a loser boyfriend, there was a fine brother whom she hardly noticed because he didn't fit the norm or it could be the other way round that a self respecting man will never go for a woman with low levels of attainments in life.

They say good men are boring, oh yes I have heard that too many times and if you are a woman you've heard this before. They are boring because they won’t play you around and juggle you with other females? Boring because they call time out on bad behaviour? Boring because they have set high expectations for themselves on relationships and  life in general? Tell me how would you know about good men when all you do is pair up with the bad ones.

We need to be honest with our selves that is the starting point, if there is to be hope in raising successful black families. He has had 4  baby mamas and has never committed to any one of them yet you hand over to him your uterus without considering the repercussions.

The reality is that the majority of us black women are behaving like sheep led without any form of resistance to slaughter by a system and lifestyle that wants to keep us broken. It is the same system that creates enmity between the black man and woman, and prevents them from actually forming strong forces that take our people forward. How do they do this you may ask? Simple by setting the bar so low for women so much that they never have the desire to aim higher for themselves. The women settle for less instead of more and any chance for a well bred society becomes non existent.

If we are going to be successful at anything including good relationships, family and a successful society we need to be real with ourselves on how we have been doing it wrong. We can only stop the cycle of if we peg our self worth higher and teach our girls the same.

Tuesday, 25 June 2013

A LETTER TO MY MALE FOLKS



 "This was originally written as a post on my Facebook for the violence against women and children One Billion Rising Campaign"


I am pleading to my fellow MEN..the MALE folk I know and to those I don't know..you who is reading this you my brother, my cousin, my uncle, my brother in law, my dear friend, (and the male stranger I will never know) you are not just my Facebook contacts, you are more than that!!!!!

You are the reason I call myself blessed please do whatever you can as a man to RISE against rape and other violence to women, share photos whatever you can that can make the message go across. We need you, the women of this world need you.!We plead with you to lead by example to show other men what it means to be a real man.#meditate

A real man does not take away rights from another human being, a real man does not use force on the physically weak, A real man stands against injustice, a real man will rise because the victim could be their daughter, sister, mother, aunt , grandmother or friend...Think about it.

You all hear the stomach turning headlines everyday, should we accept violence against women as a normal part of life? One thing for sure your actions as men regarding this will go a long way in speaking louder!!!! for many times when women rise it is dismissed as well "just another of women's mindless rantings"....perhaps if fellow men join in and say NO then the world will know its a serious matter, because it is.

In the recent issue of Ms Anene Booysen ( who was raped, tortured,ripped open, disemboweled and later died) , many male voices said why was she coming from a Tavern at night? Some reasoned saying "maybe she was wearing a mini - skirt", some said she that she was drunk so she gave in BUT what of the granny's who are raped in the "comfort" of their homes by intruders? What of those many women who were
raped on their way coming from church/mosque/synagogue/temple wearing decent clothing, that 10 year old girl who was on her way home from school and was sidelined by a stranger who raped, tortured and left her for dead? What of the molested 5 year old's were they also coming from Taverns when it happended? How about the toddler who was was raped by her uncle was she also sexually appealing to the perpetrator perhaps in the diapers she was wearing?...Why am I bringing this out..THERE IS NO EXCUSE OR JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER FOR RAPE.

I plead with you Men...help the women to Rise against this evil.
23-03-2013

Saturday, 13 April 2013

The Napptivity Story.



There was once a man and his wife who had long waited for a child. They both wished for a baby girl. The wife would often say "Oh that I will have a baby girl, with a head full of beautiful nappy hair"!
They prayed and waited, prayed and waited. Many years passed and still there was no sign of a child, but they kept hope alive. The couple built a nursery and decorated it. Every year they would re-decorate it, in preparation for the anticipated child.

One day under a beautiful starry night the wife was dreamily gazing at the stars. The expanse looked so beautiful and the stars had a mystery about them. They were arrayed so majestically as if they were in procession for an important event. Down below the air was calm and most people in the neighbourhood had tucked away for the night. There were only but a few isolated flickers of lights and this woman wondered if she was the only one enjoying the beautiful spectacle in the sky.

"This can't be ordinary"? She thought to herself with her eyes fixed above. Something peculiar was in the shimmering sky, "Could this be my imagination"? She kept wondering. As she was pondering these things the stars began to move, and right there before her eyes they formed a shape something that looked like a small human head. One by one some of the stars began to cluster on that little head. They formed a nimbus that looked like a head full of nappy hair, a halo so wonderful to behold.

"This is strange”, she gasped under her breath. “I have never seen anything like this before”! With that she whispered with a sigh "Oh that I will have a baby girl, with a head full of beautiful nappy hair like the starry halo up above". "Could my sight be playing games with me"? She thought to herself as she went indoors, for the time was way past her bedtime.

That night she hardly slept a wink. The spectacle of the previous night wouldn't get off her mind. She kept rewinding in her mind, thinking about the amazing show the stars had staged for her in the sky. Morning came and the first thing she told her husband was all about what she had seen the previous night. "Last night as I was by the balcony, I saw the stars looking so beautiful and dazzling".
"They were arrayed in a halo so bright and were formed like a head full of nappy hair"! At that point the husband became a little concerned about the sanity of his wife. "Oh, my wife's wish for a baby girl with beautiful nappy hair is making her hallucinate, seeing things that don't exist". He didn’t voice this out because he didn't want to upset his wife who sounded so sure of what she was saying.

Days, weeks and months passed. The pair got on with their day to day way of life. Their anticipation for a child was slowly wearing off. The only comfort they had was the strong love they had for each other. They promised each other that even if they were to never have a child, their companionship would keep them happy.

One night as they were both asleep, an Angel appeared to the woman in a dream. She was a beauty to behold. There was something quite interesting about her appearance. The Angel didn't look like what's she had always imagined them to be. This Angel was so different from how they were always depicted in paintings. Growing up she had always assumed Angels were ivory skinned, with long pointed noses, blue eyes and straight blonde hair. All the fairy tales she read as a child always showed Angels that way. They were beautiful but even what she was looking at that moment was uniquely very beautiful.

The Angel’s complexion was just like hers, a rich velvety cocoa. Her nose was like a pretty button pinned to her face. As she was marveling at this great beauty something amazing caught her attention. This Angelic being had an Afro, a real head full of beautiful and thick nappy hair. It was arranged just like the imperial halo she had seen many months ago in the starry sky. Something about the hair made the Angel look like pure royalty. The tips of her Afro were in glitter at the reflection of the brightness that was illuminating from her body.

The Angel walked right up to her in short soft steps. As the Angel moved closer to her, she felt serenaded by an awesome feeling. Gently the Angel extended her hand to her. She spoke softly and said, “I have come to grant you your long anticipated desire". "You will indeed have child, not only a child but as many as you both like". Upon hearing these words tears started trickling down her face. She was overwhelmed with joy and gratitude. A wish of many years was granted that very night, it was just too good to be true to her. 

The Angel asked her "Precious woman, do you want anything else to be granted to you before I leave"? "Oh yes certainly", she replied. “I want my baby girl to look like you, oh beautiful Angel’.  “I want her to have your ebony complexion, the shape of your nose and most definitely a head like yours full of beautiful nappy hair". When the woman woke up, deep inside her she knew it wasn’t just a dream.

A few months later the couple gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, who had lots and lots of thick beautiful nappy hair. Her hair grew into the most beautiful under the sun.

Written by Sikhanyisile Gumpo( Khanyi)
13-04-2013

Thursday, 11 April 2013

I AM WHO I AM



I am not the size you want me to be, but I was not built for
your comforting needs. I am not the crash diets, the fad diets,
the hell diets or other such destruction's of choice.

I am not the silent bulimic, the starving  teenager seeking
acceptance, the suicidal thoughts or the crimes that you
made me do against  myself.
Jubilation, I am the self accepting adult who has paid the price.

I am not my kinky hair or the one that I bought!
I am not the smoky eyes and certainly the nude lipstick I am NOT.
I am not the deep chocolate paste, the cute nose or the exceptional curves.
Don't call me babe of Mocha, I answer to the beauty guarded within.

I am not your purity standards, or any such validation you want me to be.
You are not my yardstick for spirituality, because you don't know where
my story begins. I am not the outward show of perfection, I am the
stately billboard " WORK IN PROGRESS"!

I am not just an infusion of homo-gametic cells, the X glued to its own kind
unquestionably equal to the X that was glued to the Y.
I am a heart that beats to the rhythms of pure love, so spare a thought
for my dignity, protect me as  I protect you.

I am not the beholder of his reptilian gaze. I am not going to apologise
for the anatomy of my female body, I will not cover my legs, face
and arms because there is nothing  shameful about how I was
created. I am not responsible for anyone's lustful imaginations.

I am not the mistakes that I have made or whatever that was said.
I may be the one that falls in the West, but I'm still the one that
rises in the East. I do not own your judgmental look, but I speak
FOR MY OWN EYE THAT SEES THE RAINBOW AFTER THE RAIN.

I am not the dreaded simultaneous equation or the complicated Pythagoras
theory, but I'm the simple 1+1 = 2 for I have perfected the maths of
counting my blessings. I am the people who love me for who I am.

I am not the size zero strutted on the red carpet, I am the thick heart that
beats to the rhythm of the world, my quest to make a difference.
So do not expect me to look like my cousin "Apple Cider" because
I am the " Grapetiser". We are far removed uniquely for individual purposes.

I am not who you want me to be because I am who I am.




 I AM WHO I AM

 Written by Sikhanyisile Gumpo

Dedicated to everyone who thrives to rise above limitations to make a difference in this lifetime.

07-02-2013